Give a little love… To you!

“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

― RuPaul

When I’ve said to friends about giving more self-love I think they thought I meant wanking or the best sex toy to indulge in. It sounds like an idea out the 60s but it’s something we need to do more on a daily basis. 

Taking the time for us has never been more important just look at the world around us. 

Whole countries are divided, the UK faces a messy Brexit and the USA under Trump veers from one crisis to the next. Read or watch the news you are more than likely to see some news of an ecologically disaster, abuse of an ethnic group or attack on the LGBT community. Platforms like Twitter have given rise to the social media trolls, which vilify celebrities and everyday people. Grindr recently launched its Kindr initiative to combat the “No Blacks/Asian/Fats/Skinny” profiles.

Apple recently added a feature that shows and tracks your phone usage throughout the day and week. I coined the term ‘Social Media self harm’ to a friend recently. The time we spend on social media scrolling through faces on Grindr, liking pictures on Instagram and obsessing over who posted what on Facebook. We swipe through faces looking for a connection through a tiny screen but are actually depriving ourselves of anything meaningful. 

I have added my own which to my shame from the previous week that illustrates my point.

Rather than the fours I spent on Whatsapp I could of actually gone and seen my friends in person. Being out in the world meeting people surely would give me a more meaningful connection than nine hours trawling Grindr tapping random profiles and ignoring others. 

Taking time to do real pleasurable things has such a positive effect on our state of mind. Disconnecting from the world as seen through a screen has a real healing effect. Doing things as simple as indulging in your hobbies and interests is going to benefit you. It may sound stupid to advise you to do the things you like but think about when the last time you enjoyed what your passionate about? When after you did something and thought,  “Wow I feel amazing”. The LGBT community sadly has a habit of relying of drugs and alcohol that are temporary highs that don’t last and do more harm than good.

Whatever it may be do it and enjoy it. The world around brings us down so taking care of YOU really needs your focus. We naturally take care of family and friends but forget to make sure we are happy. Mental health in our community is a real issue I know taking time for us wont solve all problems but it’s a real start in making you feel whole and happier. 

Agree? Disagree? Lets us know at

Written by Phil

Budding writer for GayBoyBible or 35000ft in the air or in bed. 30 something navigating the waters of life, sharing my thoughts and experiences with the wonderful world.

Why Do Our Friends Suck?

Valentine’s Day Love Letter