in

I Was Called Homophobic In My Own Community

How I’m Surviving Gay Elitism

I am not shaming those who live the scene life. I am glad you feel empowered to maintain that, keep being fabulous. For the people shaming the scene, I think it’s important for everyone to show some degree of presence in the gay community, whatever form that may come in for you. Whether it’s attending Pride events, getting involved with LGBT groups at work or school, or donating to the HRC/similar organizations. Even just getting messy in Mykonos counts for something. You do you.

I need to get this off my chest, and I think some folks within our community could bear to hear this.

The other day I was getting to know a new friend. He made a RPDR (RuPaul’s Drag Race) reference that went over my head and I told him I don’t watch the show. He called me a bad gay, we laughed, whatever. Later, we were talking about our interests and all of his revolved around the gay scene. Gay bars, gay clubs, gay sports teams, gay beaches, bathhouses, etc. I told him that’s great, not what I normally do but it sounds fun. He asked me why I don’t participate in the gay scene much and I explained that I’m not all that tapped into gay culture and my interests primarily revolve around music, outdoors, and travel. He told me I have internalized homophobia for “separating myself from the gay community.”

I do not separate myself from the gay community, it’s just not my primary interest. I celebrate being gay and I’m very open about it, but my gayness is not my entire identity. There’s a lot more to who I am than my sexuality, and my world does not revolve around being gay. I go to gay bars. I go to not-gay bars. I go to music festivals. I go to drag shows. I hike and kayak and build campfires. I play tennis and volleyball. I paint my fucking nails.

I will NOT feel shame for who I am. I will not apologize for doing what makes me happy. I am no less gay because I don’t keep up with the Kardashians or go to circuit parties. I love myself, I’m comfortable with my identity, and I’m confident in who I am. I don’t need to validate my gayness to anyone.

What I’m asking gay bros is this: please stop dividing and ranking our community. Being gay is not a competition. Allow people to participate in whatever activities and communities they feel fulfilled by. Stop tearing down others in our community because they don’t like the same things as you. Literally, bathhouses the whole mission of the LGBT+ community has been to strive for inclusion and acceptance. It seems that some of us have lost sight of that. Bear that in mind the next time you want to criticize others within this community.

Happy Pride month, look out for each other.

Gay elitism is toxic. Stop calling everyone homophobic because they aren’t like you. Stop adhering everyone to your perception of what gay looks like. Support each other, celebrate each other, and love each other.

*Source: Reddit.com from user u/twomoose.

Written by Gay Boy Bible

We're proud to serve forward-thinking homosexuals across the globe with our informative, educational and entertaining content.

Top Ten Show-Stealing Songs from Modern Musicals.

Its-All-Happening